ORTH1001: How to Pray - Twenty Ways to Improve Personal Prayer

The previous articles (Part 1 and Part 2) discussed why we pray, what prayer is, when we pray and where we should pray, all important practical questions for living in an Orthodox Christian manner. This article deals with how we should pray, and goes very briefly into certain ways to make our prayer more effective.​

1. Go to somewhere quiet: This is what Christ did and what monks continue to do. We can do this by moving away from a disruptive environment and by creating a peaceful and quiet space for prayer. In this way our whole focus is on the prayer.
   
2. Create a prayer corner: Christ also talked about closing the door and praying in front of a candle (Matthew 6:6). We too can create such an atmosphere with candles, censors and icons to remind us of why we are praying. Looking at the icons can remind us of the love that Christ and the Theotokos have for us, and the lives of the Saints. St Ignatius Brianchaninov writes: “As you stand before the icon of Christ, stand as if you are before the Lord Jesus Christ Himself”.
3. Prepare yourself: Make sure that you are in the correct frame of mind to pray. This might mean taking a few minutes beforehand to calm yourself and your thoughts down. Silence and self-examination before starting prayer are necessary to make us ready. Try to empty yourself of all worldly cares and thoughts.
   
4. Pray with your heart: Prayer is not simply reading or even thinking. It is when the heart and mind are directed toward God through the words of the prayer. St Symeon the New Theologian said that the heart is where Christ descends with love. St Gregory of Sinai said the greatest prayers are those that come from the depth of love in the heart. Many people pray without their hearts, and the Lord said of them: “This people draws near to Me with their mouth and honours Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me” (Matthew 15:8).
   
5. Reflect on the words: If you are praying set prayers, think over the words of the prayer and let them change you. When you read “Our Father”, think about the Father and all that He has done for you. When you read “forgive us our trespasses just as we forgive those who trespass against us”, consider whether you really forgive others their trespasses and remember the extent of your own trespasses. Christ said, “Do not make vain repetitions as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words” (Matthew 6:7).
   
6. Glorify God: Imitate the angels in this way, who unceasingly praise God. They know the glory of God and pray in this way. How much more reward will we receive who struggle to see God in our lives? We glorify and praise sportspeople and artists for their achievements. How miniscule these are in comparison with the works of God.
   
7. Thank God: If we cannot thank God in our prayer for all that He does and continues to do for us every day, then we are lacking in humility. If we think that everything comes from our own efforts, then we are severely mistaken. Nothing we do is of ourselves. God is the source of all good, and we should be grateful for what we have in our prayers.
   
8. Seek forgiveness: Following our thanks to God, we should be eternally grateful that we are allowed chance after chance to live after the sins we have committed. If we look to the Old Testament, we see that people who sin are punished instantly with death and other ailments. Be grateful that we have a chance to repent, and seek God’s mercy for all that we have done. Remember like David that your sin is ever before you (Psalm 50:5), but also remember that though your “sins be like crimson they shall become as white like snow” (Isaiah 1:18).
   
9. Pray for others: We should not just pray for ourselves. While we do need to pray for ourselves, it should not make up the entirety of our prayer. Others need our prayers, and sometimes they are struggling and we do not know it. Our prayer, even if we do not know it, can be of assistance. If someone asks you to pray for them, do it. You would hope that others would pray for you, so return the favour. We can pray for people who are openly struggling and be of assistance in this way. How many times have we heard of the Saints praying and sick people being healed? Finally, remember to pray for the dead. They can still benefit from our prayers.
   
10. Pray for God to assist you: Finally, we should pray for our own situations. Do not ask things of God vainly or lightly. Remember that “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him”. However, St John of Kronstadt advises that you should pray for others more than for yourself.
    
11. Seek the intercession of the Theotokos and the Saints: How often did Christ, in the Gospels, heal people when they requested healing? Remember that the Theotokos had Christ perform a miracle at the Wedding of Cana before His time through her petition. Remember all of the miracles attributed to Saints, and see that we need to appeal to the Saints for any requests.
    
12. Obey the rule set by your Spiritual Father: Praying is a good thing, but there are dangers to it. Too much and you might feel pride or you will set yourself a rule that you can’t keep and fall into despair when you fail. Too little, and you don’t do enough for your spiritual wellbeing and settle into a comfortable pattern that you will struggle to get out of and improve. The best road is to faithfully obey your Spiritual Father, knowing that even if you are praying too much or too little, you are being obedient and cultivating that virtue.
    
13. Use your whole body: It is important that we do not simply pray with our lips or our minds, but with our whole bodies. Imagine if God were in front of you; would you not bow down and worship Him? Prostrations are helpful in this regard, but should not be rushed as though they were a sporting exercise. Also make the sign of the Cross regularly, as this is in itself a prayer. All of these reduce the heart to a state of contrition.
    
14. Do not rush: Prayer is not some chore to be done quickly so you can move onto something more enjoyable. If we are thinking about the time instead of the words of the prayer, then our prayer is fruitless and quite possibly doing more harm than good. One way to combat this is to ensure that you have time for prayer. Another is to do fewer prayers, but do them well, when you have time constraints.
    
15. Take any issues you have to your Spiritual Father: Whenever you have any issues in your efforts at prayer, take them to your spiritual father. He will know what to do to help you, and direct you towards a prayer more pleasing to God. If you cannot get to a spiritual father, look in the meantime to the Holy Bible and to the writings of saints on prayer.
    
16. Enjoy prayer: In order to pray with your heart, your heart must be in the act of prayer. Think on how magnificent it is to communicate with God, the Theotokos and the Saints. Chanting is another way of enjoying prayer, and having hymns in your head is one way of ensuring that prayer is within you constantly.
    
17. Pray humbly: God alone should be exalted in prayer. Let us not imitate the Pharisee who, despite his promising first three words of “I thank You”, ended his prayer in pride “praying thus with himself”. Let us rather imitate the Publican who, knowing himself to be a sinner, asked for mercy as a sinner.
    
18. Be persistent: Remember the parable of the widow and the judge, who was eventually moved by the incessant petitioning of the widow. If we persist in calling upon God resolutely, we cannot but succeed in having our prayer ascend “as incense” (Psalm 50). “The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force” in Matthew 11:12 refers to persistence in spiritual exercises such as prayer.
    
19. Concentrate: It is easy to lose your concentration. If that is the case, a prayer book can help you to keep your mind on prayer. For the Jesus Prayer, a prayer rope can be used so that each knot spurs you to prayer. St Ignatius Brianchaninov writes: “Attentiveness is the first gift of divine grace sent to the one who patiently labours in prayerful ascesis”.
    
20. Do not despair if you fall: If you, for some reason or another, fail to keep to your prayer rule or do not pray in the ways listed above, do not despair. Remember that God will always forgive you and will allow you chance after chance to turn to Him.

 
St John Climacus said that it is impossible to teach prayer only with words to those who desire it. With experience and effort God Himself, according to St Ignatius Brianchaninov, will become our instructor in prayer.